


We aren't your maids!

by J_animelover6



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), Comedy, Crack, Crazy, Gen, Good Uchiha Sasuke, One Shot, Ridiculous, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_animelover6/pseuds/J_animelover6
Summary: The training grounds, something many ninja take for granted. To most ninja it's simply the place where they train, sweat, cry, bleed, laugh and traumatise the rookies. And when they accidentally punch a meteor sized crater into the ground, no worries because the next day the training ground is in perfect order. No one questions why this happens, it just does.Enter the training ground repair and damage control units.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	We aren't your maids!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to applestograpes1 on reddit for inspiring me and urging me to make this fic.

Yamato stared with wide eyes and a slacked jaw at the destruction before him. There were more craters in the ground than on the whole moon and the scorch marks stuck out on the remaining sections of earth like a child's scribbled drawings on a wall. Over twenty trees lay burning on the ground and the pieces of what used to be a boulder were scattered around like seeds in a field. 

"Didn't we fix this one up just _yesterday_!" One of the Chunin from behind him moaned. 

Yamato slapped his hand over his face and dragged it down while letting out a long suffering groan. In his head he was cursing Kakashi's team 7 to beyond the afterlife. There were all the tell-tale marks of them training: scorch marks, craters, felled trees and lots and lots of fire. 

"Bloody pyromaniac Uchiha!" Another member of the Repair team cursed while using a D-ranked water ninjutsu to put out some of the many, many fires, "he should've died with the rest of 'em." 

There was a round of nods and murmured agreement.

Even though it was a teensy bit wrong (just a bit) everyone on the Repair team were grateful to Itachi Uchiha for murdering his entire Clan. Worshipped him even. He had blessed them with inferno free days for five years. (They even have a shrine dedicated to him.) Then that damned Sasuke had to go and ruin their bliss by deciding to practice fire ninjutsu unsupervised. In the middle of a forest. In _winter_. While he was an Academy student. He had almost burnt down half of Konoha.

There hadn't been an incident like that since the Academy had been teaching elemental ninjutsu - none of the older members ever uttered a word of those days. Rumour had it that a kid turned his classroom into a makeshift aquarium. On purpose. He'd had even managed to get a few sharks from heaven knows where.

That apparently wasn't even the worst incident. 

'The clusterfuck' had involved, three Uchiha, a Hyuuga, two Kurama, a Sarutobi and 2000 kilograms of sugar, a fire tornado, metal wire and a jar of vinegar. It had taken months to repair the training grounds.

Four members of the Repair team lined up on the opposite ends of the training ground, two at each end, and used Earth ninjutsu to level the ground and then swallow up the fallen trees. Then, taking out the training ground's building plan - a well loved blueprint at this point - they began to recreate the giant boulder from the pieces of rubble and earth. 

"Wait..." Yamato said, peering over the shoulder of one of the Chunin, "wasn't there a stream over there?" He points to where the group of trees used to be. 

"I don't remember seeing it when we got here or when we lined up." The Chunin holding the plans defended himself. 

Did team 7 accidentally remove an entire water system? 

Considering who their teacher is it shouldn't have surprised him (it was highly likely that it was even intentional), but yet here he was wondering if physics or any sort of world logic applied to those four ninja. 

"It's team 7 don't question it." He muttered under his breath, reminding himself of their recently acquired moto, and then ordered some the Earth ninjutsu users to go and find the river's source and then cut out a new river bed. 

Yamato breathed in a deep lungful of air and carefully focused his Chakra, wove it together inside his coils and then as he breathed out he willed trees to grow up from the newly flattened earth. Where their predecessors stood just yesterday. 

"Try to last a little longer this time please." He patted the trunk of the tree and looked at it with pleading eyes. 

He really didn't want to have to come back here tomorrow. 

'I swear to god if I have to tend to this damned training ground one more time because the loudmouth can't control his clones, duck-butt burns everything and she likes to go smashy smashy I am going to flip my shit.' 

_We shall try._

The trees whispered back to him as a breeze rustled their leaves.

Yamato then, referencing the plans every now and then, began to regrow the foliage that had once been there. Trying his hardest to get it as accurate as possible. (Kakashi would complain if it wasn't and rip everything back up again.)

'I swear I'm more of a damned than a ninja.'

"We've found it!" The group of Chunin and that one poor Genin exclaimed in unison. After four hours, the river group had returned, covered in mud and dripping wet like a snowman in summer time. 

"What the source?" Yamato asked, a little out of breath. Growing half a forest in a few hours isn't easy.

"Nope the river." The Genin chirped, he was the muddiest of them all. 

"It turns out that most of the river had been dried up," the mutterings of _fucking Uchiha_ were heard by all and agreed upon, "and then a boulder had been clogging up the rest of it." The Genin explained, relieved that they didn't have to make an entire river again. 

"So we just had to destroy the boulder and all was good." 

"That is a relief." Yamato sighs, staring at his worn out team. 

With tired smiles all around they created the finishing touches for the training ground and prayed they would've have to go back there tomorrow. 

* * *

"Beg your pardon Hokage-sama but this is getting ridiculous!" The overworked Mokuten user cried, "This would be the third time we've put that plot back together again in a one week, the twelfth this month-"

"Fifteenth actually." Another one of the Chunin chipped in. 

"Yeah and we've just finished with Gai and Lee's training ground! Can't we do it tomorrow?" The Genin complained/pleaded, still covered head-to-toe in dust.

"Please Hokage-sama, we can't go back. We've literally just cleaned up their damned mess, can't they keep it clean for FIVE MINUTES!" Yamato yells and gazes desperately at the Senju woman who looked slightly amused at the situation. 

"You and I know that's not possible. Besides Kakashi's team 7 will be doing some late night training and need the training ground fixed. Isn't that your job?" She raised an eyebrow at them and fixed them to place with a teasing smile and glazed eyes. 

Shit, she was drunk off her rocker (possibly high). There would be no reasoning with her but he could still try...there had to be some hope!

"We are exhausted, can't they wait until tomorrow?" Yamato whined, not caring about his dignity. If he had to sound like a three year old in the sweet isle to get a few hours of sleep than he would mimic the most spoilt brat of them all. 

The Hokage opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by a voice that haunted their nightmares, "What do you think Sasuke? Could you wait till tomorrow to raise hell on earth?" 

"Hn, what do you think?" A low warbling pitched voice that clearly screamed teenaged _boy,_ echoed from above them 

"Really Naruto, haven't you learnt yet?," a sickly sweet voice that was dripping with mirth like poisoned honey scolded her teammate, "A devil needs his full every couple of hours," it continued to tease, "or otherwise the _wittle demon gets cwanky._ " 

The Chunin (plus Genin) whip their heads around, trying to find the three teenagers that caused them so much pain. 

"Yeah we wouldn't want that." 

They spin around to see the three fourteen year olds leering at them. A shiver ran through the group as the grins widened to unnatural proportions. 

"I'll be sure to go for you two first." Sasuke spits back and the aforementioned two just stick their tongues out at him, causing him to sigh dramatically. 

"So...we want the training ground dusted and polished before we arrive and perhaps a few extra boulders to pound into dust." Sakura commands, as arrogant as you please, like they were some lowly servants. 

"Now, now children," the devils' ringleader drawled appearing from the depths of the shadows like the evil bastard he was, "no need to upset the maids. They might make your trees unflammable if you provoke them." 

They actually had the nerve to look stunned at not being able to cause misery and destruction. 

"I'm sorry what!" Yamato splutters, face burning with mortification as he stared at the unearthly beings before him. 

"What didja call us?" One of the older Chunin growled menacing. 

The three (not) children turned their heads in sync to glare him down, a dangerous aura enveloping them and sealing their position as _Fucking monsters_ in the repair team's manual of 'who not to cross and why?' Which was handed out to all of their new members. 

"Maids." They said in unison, a shit-eating grin crawling back on to their features. Kakashi looked like a proud papa bird. 

"Ne, Tsunade-sama could we arrange for a uniform change?" Kakashi requested, as if what he was implying was completely normal. Day-to-day business. 

"Oh, oh and they'd new accessories too you know. Like those small dusters and stuff." Naruto suggests. 

"And extra lace." Sakura chimes in with a pure evil look in her eye as she scanned the men and woman in front of her. 

"Lots and lots." Sasuke agrees, imagining it already. 

"Hmmm," the female Hokage contemplates for a moment (much to the horror of the Repair team) "yes consider it done." 

This is it. They were going to become missing nin and join Itachi-sama. Perhaps form a cult. 

"Shizune!" Tsunade yells and the young woman instantly comes scurrying towards her, clipboard in hand. Soon she was scribbling down orders, the devil trio often putting in their ten cents. 

"It will be pink!" 

"Hot pink." 

"It will burn the eyes and souls of all who see it." 

This was actually happening...welp time to betray their village, families, friends and become a nomadic occult. 


End file.
